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The world is devolving. And I know why. It’s the Writers’
Strike. People around the world are suffering because they are watching reality
t.v. shows and missing their favorites or the best material from shows that
have returned to the air sans writers.

This has led to insanity not only in this country, but
throughout the world. The writers’ strike began on November 5 and since then
the world has changed drastically:

1. A
        tiger at a zoo in

   California

        jumped over a wall and attacked three young men.

2. Neither
        of last year’s Super Bowl contenders made it past the first play-
3. off
        game. (The Bears didn’t even get to the playoffs).

4. Kenya

   , a
        relatively peaceful country before the Writer’s Strike, is on the brink of
        civil war.

5. Britney
        Spears was carted away by an ambulance after she held one of her son’s
        hostage. Meanwhile her 15-year-old sister, a role model for many children,
        is pregnant.
6. There
        is a threat to remove Scrabulous from Facebook for copyright infringement.
       
7. Singer
        Amy Winehouse dyed her hair blond.
8. Prophets
        have declared an impending doomsday to

   Chicago

   transit riders twice!

9. Vladimir
        Putin is restoring autocracy to

   Russia

   .

10. Parisians
         can no longer smoke in cafes!
11. The
         real Greenlee is back.
12.  Baseball players are being held
         accountable for using steroids.
13. Several
         American Idol stars have lost their recording contracts.

14. Pakistan

    ’s
         opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was assassinated.

15. Toddlers
         and babies can’t have cold or cough medicines.
16. Antidepressants
         don’t cure depression.
17. Moviegoers
         aren’t finding Katherine Heigl terribly annoying.
18. Suri
         Cruise’s biological father is a dead cult leader.
19. 22
         soldiers have died in

    Iraq

         this month and there’s still more month left; the war began almost 5 years
         ago.

20. A man
         who once fried squirrel in his pop corn maker for snack food won the Iowa
         Republican Caucus.
21. Sam Waterston
         was promoted to District Attorney on Law and Order.
22. Economists
         are predicting a terrible, looming recession.
23. After
         7 years of disengagement, President Bush tries to solve the Arab-Israeli
         conflict.
24. Made
         in

    China

         could mean made with lead

25. Dr.
         Phil isn’t a licensed psychologist in

    California

    .

The writers’ strike must end. Their demands must be met. Otherwise,
I fear for the apocalypse where Suri Cruise will rule the world with a resurrected
L. Ron Hubbard by her side.

This entry was posted on Sunday, January 20th, 2008 at 12:33 am and is filed under Current Affairs. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.